domericbolton:

last night my father said “good night mario” because i had been driving him around today and apparently going too fast, like the car racer mario andretti

but i didn’t know what he was talking about so i just sleepily replied “good night luigi”

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galaxys4:

talkin to ur crush like
image

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voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

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roisinlikesbooks:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

YESTERDAY EVENING I WAS WONDERING WHY REMUS LOVED CHOCOLATE SO MUCH WHEN I REALISED

CHOCOLATE IS POISONOUS FOR DOGS

WHAT IF YOUNG REMUS STARTED LOVING CHOCOLATE BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT KILLED THE WOLF PART OF HIM

just once I want a Lupin headcanon that doesn’t make me want to sent myself on fire

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asmilinggoddess:

professors seeing “teddy lupin” on their rosters and being like “ah yes, remus lupin’s son. remus was such a well behaved student, i’m sure his son will be the same”

and then teddy shows up for class and they’re like “oh no….oh no”

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dajo42:

"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in

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